do you ever feel like your life is one long latter leading down or up and each time you sin you go back down a step and when you take a new step in your faith you will get closer to god and become so much more like him. and when you go down a step you feel so far away you don't feel safe because you just got farther away from him.

some times when i am listening to kay.love they play some of the most powerful songs i have ever heard and i stop and listen and think what will it be like when i go to heaven. i just cant think that god gave his one and only son for me for you we all have so much sin and sorrow what do we do with it? well when we get to heaven we loose it all because of jesus he took the blame for what we did. some times i have to take the blame for something i did not do and i hate it! but thats just for 4 people but jesus took it all! all the people in the world he took the blame and i...i hate taking the blame for just one person but no jesus doesn't even say i hate you or any thing all he said was father forgive them for what they've done.. not even a word to them. just think if that was you what would to have done? i would have yelled at them!.but yet nothing from jesus not a word to them but only to god even when they are killing him he still praises god! its all of us who really killed him if you think right now that you killed god what would you say?. the one that still loves us even after we killed him he still loves us! his love for us is the strongest love of all!.    

              i have not written in a long time but i finally sat down and started to write.
            some times even writers cant think of things to write and i have that problem now
                                           i cant think of what to right...
                                      so i will right about the snow storm...
                   god gave us snow for what reason? did he not make it and it just come by its self?
              i personally do  not like the winter! but do we have to be grateful for it even when we dont want to?
     just because god made it? sometimes you will come up to some people and they will say i am grateful for the winter and the snow but when you see them when they dont know your there does it look like there grateful? sometimes they say that just because they think god said be grateful for all i have made but your not going to go up to them and say are you saying that just because god says to be grateful but maybe your all like they dont really like this... but some times you need to stop and think am i really grateful for gods creation or am i just faking just like some people? just to get god to think im good but he knows if your not really grateful he knows that i like summer a lot better than winter but is that a sin to like one thing he created more than another? snow can ruin a lot of things... A LOT OF THINGS... but maybe he has a reason of all of the snow like i am trusting that he has a plan for me for my family he has a reason for taking my big brother AND I WANT HIM BACK! I MISS HIM! WHY CANT I HAVE HIM? why did god tack him? i ask myself that every day and cry a little each time i think about him and i love him and want him back!    

here is a song that means a lot to me and i hope it will to you to...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4l3CEMWCxSk copy and paste this in your search bar... and the rest of the songs...
it helps me get through a lot of hard things even church is hard for me my life has changed a lot in the past months but we still need to trust... TRUST i will say this a lot but it helps trust in god.. trust he has a plan for you i love this verse... be patience god is not finished with me yet. even thou some times i want him to be so i can go home and see Elijah again soon but then i remember be patience god is not finished with me yet he has a plan and he will never forget that plan he has one for you to we dont know what that plan is but he does and he has your name written on his hands he took the punishment for your sins.. not his because he had no sins to pay the price for..

       this is from my sisters wedding last year in October and now they have a beautiful child who i love with all my being.. yes you could say we are one big happy family but we cant ever stitch up the hole that has been made it has been made and will never close till we all are in heaven with Elijah again. that hole is one big hole that was for Elijah him self and nothing on earth can take the place in that hole in are family but he is still in are family and still watching over all of us today and right now.
Elijah had a different perspective of that he said god says there is no crying in heaven but if people in heaven could see us they would cry because of sad things that happen here on earth. i dont know about that but that was his perspective of it and it matters very much and he knows now id he was right or not. but here is one more song and i came to know this song by singing it in my first concert at the middle school and it also means a lot to me and my family!
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPOM0IUsd_0
there is a song with the lyrics
                                            im coming home
                                            im coming home
                                  tell the world im coming home
                                      let the rain wash away
                                  and all the pain of yesterday
                          i know my kingdom awaits and there forgiving
                                           my mistakes
               im coming home im coming home tell the world im coming. . . home....